My story is about the reconciling power of God in my marriage. More than ten years in to my marriage my husband and I had grown apart as we allowed resentment to set in. The way we spoke to each other had become toxic and the rift between us just kept growing. One day my husband told me he just couldn’t continue and he moved out of our home. This was devastating and I felt so alone and so afraid, as I did not want my marriage to end, I wanted it fixed. A few weeks later I found out my husband had been having an affair with another woman for months.

I cannot describe the despair and pain this betrayal caused in my heart. But still, I was determined to fight for my marriage. I received counselling through Community Care and had the help of a network pastor here at CityLife, as well as wise friends who spoke God’s love and hope in to my situation. Prayer is also a very big part of this story. I would cry out to God (literally), angry that this had happened, and after, as I would sit and sob, the Holy Spirit would comfort me. I knew God was in this situation. I had a renewed confidence when I prayed because God is all for reconciliation.

God began to show me my part in the breakdown of the marriage. Accepting my contribution to the breakdown did not justify the choice of my husband, it just meant I took responsibility for my part. During that time God also showed me that I had to give my husband to God, and stop trying to change him. In doing this my heart changed. I began to speak life in to my marriage. I forgave my husband, even though he was still in the affair. When I spoke to my husband I would tell him I forgave him, I’d talk about our history together, the memories we shared, and the importance of fighting for our marriage and keeping the family together.

Then it happened…one day my husband also started to believe in our marriage, in ‘us’. He believed that through God we could move forward and that God could heal our marriage. He ended the affair, and after months of counselling he moved back in to our home. It was a difficult road but we did it. We do not have the perfect marriage (no one does) but keeping God in the centre helps us work through the normal challenges of marriage. This was many years ago now and I wanted to share this story, tell you that God has transformed our marriage and brought healing, and hopefully encourage others who are struggling to fight for their marriage.

Posted in May 2015

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