I separated from my husband because of mental and physical abuses. I tried to get help and consultation with seven pastors, including my old church pastor, but my ex-husband didn't change and he treated me worse. I didn't want to move out from my marriage because of my commitment to God, but because of my condition (the abuse), and on advice from my psychologist and with support from my parents, I decided to separate. Now I feel safe and I feel happy, and the kids are growing so much better too. Our life changed, we are free and I never stopped to say ‘thank you’.

My old church community rejected me and I felt abandoned and confused. I kept blaming myself and thought God also hated me because he doesn’t allow married people to separate. So I was lost from God. I hated Christians because I thought Christians are supposed to help people and support each other, especially when they need help. I still went a few times to my old church but I sat outside. People saw me very different and I was shy to sit inside.

One day I wrote a letter to God, I said, “I miss You God, I want to see you, I want to hear your voice... I know you still love me, I’m tired...I want to come home. Show me God and I promise I will commit to stay and I also want my children to feel comfortable with the church.” After that, somehow I decided to go to church on a Saturday. I searched the internet and found - CityLife Church, sermon starts at 4pm. I was late, I opened the door and what I saw in the first moment, was a neon light that said "HOME”. My heart was pumping. I sat down in the back - the sermon was about ‘home’. I was broken, I couldn’t clap, I couldn’t sing and I burst into tears. The pastor said I have to forgive...so I can clean up the well and the water promised from God will fill the well. Yes, I know God sent me to that church. I feel so happy. My kids are happy too, I told my parents and they are happy too. Since then, I keep coming to this church. All the sermons are refreshing me all the time - I love it. My relationship with God is back, I start to clap and sing, sometimes dancing, my faith is rebuilt. I found my home!

Posted in June 2015

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