RECAP: God has called us to be SALT and LIGHT in our world. It doesn’t matter what our natural personality is, it doesn’t matter if we aren’t perfect. We are called to influence.
This week’s question is:
How do we get started?
Matthew 5:13-14 You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavour? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.
One of the best and easiest ways for every one of us to get “in position” to be used by God to influence … is to learn a couple of coaching skills. A coach can be a life changing influencer.
Question 1: What is a COACH?
• Someone who brings more out of another person than they thought they were capable of…
• Someone who instils confidence and inspires …
• Someone who helps someone else achieve…
• Someone who invests in the growth of another …
• Someone who believes in someone else even before they believe in themselves…
THESE ARE EXACTLY THE KIND OF INFLUENCERS GOD CALLS US TO BE EVERYDAY.
Hebrews 10:24 …And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds…
1 Thessalonians 5:11 …Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing…
“Coaching is the process of helping people develop their God-given potential” - Bob Logan
Jesus is the consummate coach. He coached the 12 disciples, but also, he coached people he only just met. All the time he used different expressions of the two most important coaching questions:
1. Where are you at? (what’s in your heart?)
2. Where are you headed/what are you seeking?
Question 2: In your group, talk about these and other situations in the gospels where Jesus asked questions to discover where people were at and where their focus was, and how he re-directed them towards God.
1. The Woman at the Well: John 4:7-26
2. The Pharisees and the Woman with the Withered Hand: Luke 6:9-12
3. Blind Bartimaeas: Luke 18:35
Our mandate is to be Christ followers who influence others … to be salt and light … we cannot say that we have Christ living within us and yet live no differently on the outside.
How do I start coaching?
1. Make a Value Shift:
Question 3: What are the things in our lives which stop us valuing and building relationships with people?
Question 4: What practical steps could each of us take to create space for relationship building in our weekly lives?
2. Make a Communication shift:
Asking Good Questions is the foundation of great coaching:
Question 5: LifeGroup Exercise:
Re-write each of these statements as a QUESTION, and then discuss as a group.
A great question will help in some of the following ways:
i.e. To help them identify blockages which are hindering their performance
i.e. To help them identify actions they can take
i.e. To give them the tools and power to act
i.e. To increase their confidence and decision making ability
“That’s a stupid idea”
“You’re not following through”
“It’s not as bad as you think”
“If you don’t set time aside for prayer, your whole spiritual life will suffer”
“You’re neglecting your family”
“You are not trusting God”
3. Make a Listening Shift:
Really listening to what others are saying involves shutting down the noise in our own heads, and focusing on the “whole” of language. Dr. Albert Mehrabian contends that 93% of our communication is non-verbal i.e.
o 7% words
o 38% tone, pace etc
o 55% gestures, posture, expressions
Question 6: Why is it so hard for us to really listen to others and to God? Try “reflecting back” to someone in your group what they just said and see if you can accurately reflect their intention, tone and non-verbal communication as well as their words.
WRAP UP & PRAY:
Pray over the people on your impact lists, and for opportunities to ask questions this week which will impact people’s lives and be an influence for the Kingdom of God this week.
SOME COACHING QUESTIONS THAT HELP DECISION MAKING:
1. What do you need that you don’t have now – to make an informed decision?
2. Who could help you make this decision?
3. If you were advising someone about this situation what would you tell them?
4. On a scale of 1-10, how sure are you that this is the right decision? (What would it take to make a “6” into an “8”?)...
5. What is the worst case scenario if you take this course?
6. What would it cost you if you didn’t make a decision on this?
SOME COACHING QUESTIONS THAT HELP CREATE ACTION:
1. What do you want to do about this?
2. What will you do?
3. When will you do this?
4. What else will you do?
5. What kind of support do you need to get this done?
6. What obstacles can you see to you getting this done? How will you tackle these?