Family Foundations and the Family of God

Family is foundational to society, and to the ways and purposes of God.

In terms of society, think about the ‘Seven Spheres of Influence’ that God spoke to Loren Cunningham and Bill Bright about in 1975:
● Arts, Entertainment, Sports
● Business, Technology, Science
● Church, Faith/Religion
● Distribution (media, TV/radio, print, social media)
● Education
● Family
● Government
Family is where we all start out (for better or worse) and hence foundational.

In terms of God’s purposes, look at Genesis 1:26-28; family is how human beings are ‘multiplied’ to “fill the earth” with the image/likeness of God and therefore (as God originally intended) with the glory of God. However, while human beings are sometimes capable of Godly, ‘divine’ behaviour (cf. Philippians 4:8-9), more often we see the opposite – false, mean, wrong, dishonest, ugly, crude, despicable, and unspeakable human behaviour.

Discuss: [suggest 5-10 mins]
● From both a sociological perspective and biblical perspective, how much of an influence do you think ‘Family’ has on shaping individuals? 
● How foundational is family – whether for better or worse?

Every society and culture throughout time, has (or has had) codes of behaviour that are perpetuated through the seven ‘spheres’ (also known as mind-moulders or society-shapers). When referring specifically to family dynamics, in the New Testament, they are known as Household Codes.

Read: Take some time to have a look at
● Colossians 3:18 - 4:1 
● 1 Peter 2:18 - 3:7 
● 1 Timothy 2:8-15; 6:1-10
● Titus 2:1-10
● Ephesians 5:21 - 6:9

Discuss: [suggest 5 mins]
● What are your first impressions?
● What stands out?
● What questions do you have?

We’re going to look more closely at the Ephesian Household Codes and specifically at husbands and wives (bearing in mind that there are principles to learn from the husband/wife relationship that actually apply to all relationships).

For a bit of context, here’s a summary of Ephesians overall:
● Chapters 1–3 could be summarised as the Calling on God’s People – that God has given us incredible spiritual blessings, received through faith in Jesus Christ; of being made new, individually and corporately; that as followers of Jesus we’ve been given a high, holy calling to show to the world … God!
● Chapters 4–6 could be summarised as the Conduct of God’s People – that in light of this incredible calling, how then should we live? Five things we are to live out: Unity (4:1-16), Holiness (4:17-32), Love (5:1-6), Light (5:7-14), Wisdom (5:15 - 6:9). Because these are characteristics of God.

The Ephesian Household Codes then fall into the final section on wise living introduced by 5:15. And wise living possibly might even include the famous passage on spiritual warfare (Eph 6:10-20).

Re-Read Eph 5:21-33
● This is the section on wives and husbands
● Notice that while 3 verses address wives, there are 9 verses (3 times as much!) that address husbands
● And all subsumed under mutual submission (5:21)

Submission and sacrifice could be interpreted and applied in a few different ways
● Literally – wife always submits, husband always ‘rules’ but must take on greater burden/responsibility/initiative for wife’s well-being
● Contextually, now equal partners – therefore mutually submit, and mutually bear responsibility to love and care for the other
● Recognising roles of responsibility – just like in the Godhead, all three Persons are equally God, but there are different roles … so in marriage the person with greater 'power' takes extra special care of the other; this could be financial, social, physical, intellectual; this could change from season to season because circumstances/people change!

Discuss: [suggest 20 mins]
● What are the merits and pitfalls of the three different applications?
● Which one/ones do you think applies in your marriage?
● Have you actually talked this through as husband and wife? Do you both have the same understanding? Hint: Constant communication is so important to making it work, regardless how you apply these to your own context.

But the universal principles are:
1. From verses 21-22 … The level of your submission is not based on the merit of the person you submit to. The level of your submission is based on your devotion to Christ, to Jesus as your Lord.
2. From verses 25 and 28-31 … The level of your sacrifice is not based on the merit of the person you love. The level of your sacrifice is based on how much Christ has sacrificed for you to make you His own. In a marriage, the level of your sacrifice is because husband and wife are “one flesh” now, and so we care for our spouse as we care for ourself! It cuts both ways.
Imagine what our marriages and relationships would look like if we all practised submission and sacrifice like this!

Discuss and then Pray: [suggest 20 mins]
● Can you think of a time or situation where submission or sacrifice was difficult? Why?
● Does it make any difference to shift the basis for submission or sacrifice from the other person to Christ? How?
● What is one thing the Holy Spirit is convicting you of right now to do differently with your spouse (family member)?
● Pray for each other, for grace and power from God to live this out.