Building Relationships

Most people come to Christ through the relationship they have with a Christian friend. In the environment of authentic friendship the unbeliever is more likely to receive the truth because of the history of care and trust that is established over time.

There are a number of pools from which we may draw when seeking to build authentic relationships with non-Christians.

People we already know
  • Share a meal
  • Family outings
  • Assistance with gardening etc
  • Organize a Matthew party with Christian friends and non-Christian friends together

People we used to know
  • Renew old friendships

People we would like to know
  • Strategic consumerism

Points to Remember

  • Pray
  • Listen
  • Build on areas of common ground
  • Mention spiritual matters early


Three Methods to Start Spiritual Conversations

Direct Method - Best suits those with confrontational style, for example:
  • Do you ever think about spiritual matters?
  • Where do you think you are on your spiritual journey?
  • I you would ever like to know the difference between religion and Christianity, just let me know.

Indirect Method - This approach builds on the direction the conversation is already heading by using the topic being discussed as a BRIDGE to a related spiritual topic.

Invitational Method - This method transitions the conversation by inviting a friend to a Christian event that relates to the topic we are discussing.
  • If the topic is music then “If you are interested in music, we have a concert coming up at our church in a couple of weeks that you might really like. How would you like to come with me?”
  • Offer to pick them up
  • Do something together before or after the event

Small Group Discussion Questions

Ice Breaker: What person has impacted your life the most (cannot be God or the person who led you to Christ)? Cell Leader or discussion facilitator to briefly give a 5-minute overview of the sermon lesson.

  • Have you ever missed an opportunity to introduce a spiritual element into a conversation with a non-Christian friend? How would you have approached it differently if you had that moment over again?
  • What are the thoughts and emotions that prevent you sometimes making that transition?
  • How will you overcome them to press forward in your evangelistic efforts with friends?
  • Determine the next step to take with the person you are trying tor each, both relational ly and spiritually. Review the readiness scale and the sample impact list for ideas.
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